Anti-men jokes specially for women!

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFASTWORDS
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.A husband read an article to his wife about how many
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.words women use a day.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.30,000 to a man's 15,000.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.have to repeat everything to men...
Keep reading-they get better!!!The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
WOMEN'S REVENGE'What?'
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding itemsCREATION
the woman wished to purchase.A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remotecan beso stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
control for a television set in her purse. 
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to comeGod made me beautiful so you would be attracted to
shopping with me,and I figured this was the most evilme;
thing I could do to him legally.'God made me  stupid so I would be attracted to you.
UNDERSTANDING WOMENWHO DOES WHAT
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)A man and his wife were having an argument about
I know I'm not going to understand women.whoshould brew the coffee each morning.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hotThe wife said, 'You should do it because you get up
wax,pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by thefirst,and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
root,and still be afraid of a spider.coffee.
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONSThe husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up &around here andyou should do it, because that is your
down the aisles.job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can helpWife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in
himthe Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
He answers that he is looking for a box of tamponsHusband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
for his wife.So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
She directs him down the correct aisle.Testament and showed him at the top of several
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cottonpages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'
balls and a ball of string on the counter.The Silent Treatment
She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking forA man and his wife were having some problems at
some tampons for your wife?homeand were giving each other the silent treatment.
He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent mySuddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would
wife to the storeto get me a carton of cigarettes, andneed his wife to wake himat 5:00 AM for an early
she came back with a tin of tobaccoand some rollingmorning business flight.
papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)'Please wake me at 5:0 0 AM.' He left it where he
WIFE VS. HUSBANDknew she would find it.
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it
not saying a word.was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he
An earlier discussion had led to an argumentwas abo ut to go and see why his wife hadn't
andneither of them wanted to concede their position.wakened him,when he noticed a piece of paper by the
A s they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, andbed.
pigs,the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives ofThe paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
yours?'Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests...
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'